BLAME IT ON TICCI TABBI
by Derp-For-Homestuck
Summary: My moirail, asked for fluffy vantascest. And this happened. It's not fluff. It's just 900 and some words of smut. That's it. I regret nothing, actually.


He's your dancestor.

You have to keep reminding yourself that.

But still, it's _his_ fault for walking around without a fucking shirt.

"Kankri, put a fucking shirt on please." you tell him as he walks by, for the tenth time. He keeps doing that, and fuck you are NOT getting a boner for your fucking dancestor, you are NOT.

Okay, so you are, but that's not the point.

The point is that he's an asshole and needs to put on a shirt.

"Karkat, no. It's hot outside, and watch your language. It's rude." he replies, not even bothering to look at you.

Yes, it's hot outside. But it's starting to get really hot inside as well.

AND ALL BECAUSE YOUR FUCK OF A DANCESTOR WON'T PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE PLAYING AT?!

"Karkat, are you alright? Your face is all red. Do you have a temperature?" the shirtless asshole asks, walking over and putting a hand to your forehead.

You are not looking at his face.

You should be looking at his face.

Has he always had such an adorable happy-trail?

_Karkat._

You guess he probably has, you just never noticed before.

_Karkat!_

Or maybe it's that you've never looked at him without his shirt on before?

_KARKAT!_

Come to think of it, how come his pants are so low? Doesn't he usually wear those rediculious high-waisted pants for some reason?

"KARKAT VANTAS!" Kankri yells in your face.

Your eyes finally meet his and fuck is he pissed.

"The fuck you want?" you ask, glaring back at him.

"Why were you staring at my pants?"

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

"Why the fuck are they so low? Don't you usually wear those fucking stupid high-waist pants or some shit?" you cover for the face that you weren't really staring at his pants, more so what is _in _his pants.

"I told you, it's hot. Also what did I say about cussing? It's rude, Karkat."

you look away, because holly fuck he's really close to you.

"Karkat?" he pokes your cheek, but you move back a bit. He is in your bubble, and needs to get out.

AND WHY THE FUCK DOES HE STILL NOT HAVE A SHIRT ON.

"You need a shirt." you mumble, standing and walking away.

"Did I trigger you?" he asks, the worry in his voice very much evident.

You think of something. Something so stupid, it might actually get you stupid celibate of a dancestor to shut the fuck up.

"Yes Kankri, you've triggered me. Now go away." you tell him, turning away in an effort to try and keep your bulge from wriggling out of your pants.

You glance back at him, to see him pouting.

And shit if that isn't the cutest fucking thing you have ever seen this asshole do.

"Sorry Karkat, I didn't mean to offend you in anyway." he says, looking down and pulling at his pants.

Man is it hot.

"You didn't...offend me...but you're about to get jumped if you don't get the fuck out." you tell him, looking away again.

He moves so that he's in front of you again and looking at you confused.

"What do you mean, and please, at least try to watch your language Karkat."

You can't believe he hasn't noticed.

"Kankri, this. This is your fault." you point to the wriggling bulge attempting to free itself from your pants. He looks down and his face flushes a gorgeous red. You never thought that color would turn you on. But on him, it just looks hot for some reason.

"Karkat. What the hell." he's staring at you, and wow does that make things worse.

Your choice in wearing skinny jeans today was a bad one, a really bad one.

This is uncomfortable, really it is.

"Kankri I swear to fuck. If you don't leave I will not hesitate to fucking jump your ass." you warn him, moving just a slight bit further away.

He doesn't move.

Or look away for that matter.

"Fascinating." he mutters under his breath, so quiet you almost don't hear him.

"Kankri, I'm fucking serious." you give him one last warning, and he still doesn't move. His eyes flick to yours for a moment, and he seems to come to a decision.

You are pretty sure he will leave.

Pretty sure.

The moment he starts moving, however, you realize you were wrong.

"Kankri, the fuck are you doing?" you nearly shout at your dancestor, because what the fuck does he think he's doing!?

That when you notice that holly fuck,

you aren't the only one in need of vacating their pants.

Apparently Kankri is less of a celibate then he thought.

When did he get so close to you? When did his hands get on your shoulders? Since when is this assfuck taller then you?!

AND WHY IS HE KISSING YOU?!

You aren't pulling away, you're pulling him closer.

Half of you wants this to stop, because fuck this is your dancestor. The other half, though, is thinking that you should go for it because this is the only chance you might ever have.

So you proceed to have sloppy make-outs with your shirtless dancestor. Your hands are in his hair, and you _know_ fucking KNOW that his horns are just as sensitive as yours.

And he's purring and holly shit is that cute.

He retaliates and unbuttons your jeans.

Your candy red bulge bounces out and curls itself around his hand.

And fuck does that feel fantastic.

* * *

><p><strong>I'M DYING I CAN'T DO THIS<strong>

**I'M SORRY THAT'S THE BEST I CAN DO!**

**MY MOIRAIL ASKED FOR THIS!**

**BLAME TICCI TABBI FOR THIS TRAIN WREAK!**

**I AM SO SORRY THIS EVEN HAPPENED I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT**

**I'M GOING TO HELL.**


End file.
